A General Occurrence
by Sibilant Macabre
Summary: AU. Someone gets a surprise visit by the Great General himself. First Final Fantasy VII attempt, please be patient and kind. Oneshot ficlet.


**Author's Notes:**My first attempt at any Final Fantasy VII fiction; please be kind. Naturally I would choose Sephiroth. One-shot ficlet, set in extreme Alternate Universe. Briefly mentions Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry as the author has an affinity for characters with white hair. Also, the "patented" Closet Teleportation Device is also mentioned, thanks to it for making all this possible. Story is _not, _for Gaia's sake, to be taken seriously. But I did _try_ to keep the General as close to character if possible, so I beg forgiveness from him, should he grant it. But, please enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything affiliated with Final Fantasy VII nor make money from these terrible little stories, God help me.

**A General Occurrence**

I had a visitor last night.

Most people don't find that strange, in itself. Even I sometimes have folks over, for pizza and conversation, usually surrounding the Playstation or the computer, or both, depending on who I invite. And not all of them use the front door, either. Some of my greatest friends have come in through the closet. Advanced teleportation is a wonderful thing, let me tell you. Spanning the bridges of reality and fantasy and opening up _worlds_ of knowledge for me, sports fans.

Well, I took a quick shower around nine pm or so. I live alone, so closing doors is optional. Afterwards, I brushed my teeth and put on my night shirt and sweats and proceeded with the arduous task of toweling and combing out my hair. A chore, it's so damned long. Work was at six the following morning, so I logged bid my chat buddies good night and logged off the computer. It was about then I heard the muffled crash in the bedroom and suppressed swearing that followed, in a language I didn't understand, no less. Thinking Dante had dropped in for a bit and tripped over the fan (which _still_ sits in front of the closet door and has been there for _five bleeding years_); I ignored it and sauntered into the kitchen for a quick drink, not bothering with the light.

As I jaunted into my bedroom, I wove through the pile of laundry decorating the floor and flicked on the lamp and turned to greet my visitor, a sarcastic comment about the ineptness of males and their retention on my lips. It died a swift death. _White hair_. Dante has white hair. But it doesn't reach his ankles in a straight fall of silver. _Black leather_. Dante is clad from shoulder to knee in _red_ leather.

Obviously, this wasn't Dante.

_That_ little factoid was rammed straight home by the bloody _huge_ blade that suddenly materialized at my throat. The thing was longer than I am tall, and I nearly squeaked in horror as I felt just the barest slip of skin over the razor point. I know my eyes were wider than saucers and I finally mustered the courage to look my strange _visitor_ in the face. Slitted pupils in pools of sea-green were staring right at me.

My first thought was, _Oh, shit_.

My second was, _Jesus, God and Joseph, that's_ **_Sephiroth!_**

My third was, **_Ohhh, shit!_**

All I managed was a nervous swallow. I didn't dare move; else I might slit my own throat. I just waited, hands clenched at my sides. He stood still as death, not even a whisper of movement escaped. If it wasn't for that damned sword in my larynx, I might have thought I was imagining the whole thing. But he spoke first, a modulated inflection; only his lips moved.

"Who are you?"

I swallowed again, both to wet my throat and to find some courage. "Um…J-Jayden…"

"What do you want?"

I blinked. _Huh?_ I didn't want anything! Well, actually... I found myself blurting before I thought. "It'd be nice if you took the blade from my tonsils, General." _The fuck!_ I could have slapped myself for my sarcasm. Shit, I was sure to be gurgling my death throes in about two seconds.

But to my shock, the merest crinkle formed at the corners of the cat-like eyes and the sword lowered, just not quite far enough for my liking. Like, _disappearing altogether_ would have been an absolute _joy_.

Sephiroth repeated his question. "What do you want?"

My confusion must have been evident, because he frowned again. "I'm sorry," I said, "but I don't really understand. I want nothing." I shifted nervously and _so _wanted to bite my nails, but refrained. "To be honest, I didn't even know you _existed_ in this world."

The frown deepened. I had the horrible urge to shriek and dive under the bed, but I forced myself to stand still and wait for it, whatever _it_ was. I blinked as he answered, "The power of the Lifestream transcends worlds, as you call them. And I have heard your mind shouting my name repeatedly. Which is of concern to me, since as you say, I am not known in this realm."

Oh, this wasn't good. _Damn_ _that fucking closet!_ But unfair, to blame the device. Curse my own fangirling soul, that I actually _called_ the monster from the closet, quite literally. Go, me. I hastened to make apologies and hopefully smooth the incident over. Diplomacy, that was the ticket. And I could do diplomacy. I do work in retail after all.

"My most sincere apologies, General Sephiroth, for my negligence. I was unaware my thoughts were disturbing you. I certainly did not mean for them to be so and cause undue alarm."

Sephiroth waved all this aside, saying, "Be that as it may, there is still the problem of you knowing my whereabouts. That, I fear, I cannot have." He took a step forward, _menace_ radiating from his very movements.

Right about here, I had less than a minute to do some fast thinking. I'm accustomed to dealing with a half devil prince, who's as hard headed and egotistical as they come. I've even dealt with his twin on occasion, who's got the whole "take over the world" maxim down to a damned science. But both brothers are able to be reasoned with, to an extent. _This_, however, was _evil_, pure, unadulterated and cold. And _power_; it roiled off the man in waves. Amazing, how much conditioning one can pick up dealing with men like this.

So, to my credit, I didn't quail and quiver as the General stepped forward, blade rising, doubtless to finish his earlier premonition. To my_ surprise_, however, I found my mouth opening and myself unable to stop the words that fell so smoothly from my tongue.

"Shameful, the great General Sephiroth unable to see a tactical advantage and so ready to spill out blood it blinds him to all other potential."

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed and he paused. I kept talking. "You seek to purge the world. Well and good, but when you are done, what then? Will you sit atop a dead throne and reap nothing from your victory?"

I had no damned clue where this was _going_, but that sword wasn't moving so that was a good thing. "Explain." I shivered from the ice inherent in that one word.

"When the world you know is complete and inhabited by your chosen, where then will you go? There are many worlds," I said, lowering my voice to a breathy whisper. "Many that are just as unclean and bloated as yours. Will you not grace them with your clarifying touch?"

The white head tilted a fraction, as if he had not considered this possibility before. I cocked an eyebrow. "Really, General," I said, coquettish, "I'd expected you to have more…vision."

His frown began, then stopped; the _tiniest_ hint of a crooked smirk tilted his lips. "…interesting," he said quietly. I softly exhaled a breath I hadn't known I was holding as the sword finally reached the floor, three inches from my toes. But it wasn't near my throat. As uncomfortable as living without toes might be, it beat the hell outta having a sliced jugular.

I kept on talking. "So you see, General, should you choose to dominate and purify other worlds, you must have an understanding of its inhabitants in order to preserve what you deem worthy to remain. '_Civilized_' societies," I made the word a sneer, "can seldom see their own depravity when they wallow in it century after century." This earned the full half-smirk, that crooked grin so full of peril I got goosebumps.

"Indeed," he answered smoothly, those slitted eyes _fixed_ on me, making me want to squirm out from under the snake's unswerving gaze and hop away quickly. "I would hate to repeat past…mistakes."

I nodded. "Just so, General." Getting a feel for this bantering ground, I straightened and lifted my chin. "There are those of us who would embrace that vision, Sephiroth. There is little gratification in ruling a dead world, but much more significance in leading a cadre of those who follow."

He continued _looking_ at me, as if he could see straight through to the back of my skull. I didn't back down. I'd found my spine somewhere around my ankles and hauled it back into place, meeting his gaze steadily. I'd faced Dante down in a few of his more famous rages and survived them, granted I'd taken a pot to his head but somehow, I didn't see myself doing so to _Sephiroth_. Yet being Irish somewhere way back when, having red hair and a low tolerance for male bullshit in general, I gradually overcame my initial gibbering hysteria and focused on what was happening.

If Sephiroth _really_ wanted me dead, he'd have killed me by now. Six times over. I wouldn't have even felt it. He was _that_ bad-assed. But watching him watching me, I realized that while he was one of the worst beings ever spawned by the primordial ooze, he was still a _man_ and thought like one. Basically, he wanted revenge on everything, just for existing and wanted to play God, recreating the world the way he saw fit. Just so. To my surprise (but not really, in the aftermath), I found my attention wandering to that _magnificen_t shock of hair flowing down, down, down below his knees. My fingers itched.

He noticed my waning interest in his Twilight Zone routine and frowned, seeing my interest no longer on being afraid of him. I refrained from grinning and looked back at him. But then his eyes narrowed in what I have to dub amusement and his slanted smirk appeared. "You're quite a brave woman, Jayden," he said, looking mildly bemused. "I could slay you in one beat of your heart."

"I know," I answered before I thought. "But I also know there is no reason for you to do so. Thus, I am unafraid. You radiate power and regular pissed-offness, General; the wattage is high enough to make my teeth ache."

He snorted. "Yet," I said, "there is a fine line between darkness and light, is there not?"

The slitted eyes flared; apparently I'd said something interesting. Sephiroth's face went cold and immobile again, his gaze arrested. "Yes," he said, barely a hushed whisper. "The lines blur and fade into nothingness, leaving only the empty void."

Ah, familiar ground at _last_. "You're not alone, General," I answered softly. "There are those of us who traverse the same road, only by a different path." I bravely took a step forward, a very tiny one. "Perhaps I was unconsciously seeking a kindred spirit and found one of the first."

He jerked as if I'd hit him. His brows drew down and he frowned. Truly, the man has the _most_ expressive face. "Do not mock me!" he grated. I stepped back, a bit alarmed.

"I do _not_!" I snapped back, my own temper banking. "Humans possess the essence of chaos, too, you know."

"Quite," he snarled, hand flexing on that blade's handle. "With all their righteous fury, ignorant prattling and banal blindness!" He tensed and I did the same, wondering which way to spring and if it would be fast enough. Probably not. But I flared back, praying my mouth wouldn't land my ass in a _world_ of trouble.

"Perhaps I called you here for a reason, o great _General_, to follow in the fiery footsteps of your reign of blood, bathing in the gushing fountains of despair and lost hope, cradling that to the breast of chaos and the world's reformation, while ending and changing this very existence which on the primal level I positively _loathe_!"

I stopped for a breath and managed not to glower, just frowned furiously at the cold powerful man standing in front of my open closet door, regarding me with the most unreadable expression I'd ever seen.

"You would follow me." It wasn't a question, more a statement of incredulous fact.

I lifted my chin and managed a completely fabricated imperious glare. "Yes." Would I? _Really?_ This wasn't _Dante_, for God's sake, who I could weasel and lead around by the nose. This was _Sephiroth_, who had _serious_ plans for world domination. But my God, didn't the man radiate power and I had to admit, some part of me longed to give up the fight between darkness and light that always seethed in my soul. Why not? Why not covet the dark embrace?

"You would bow before me." This he said with an air of smug satisfaction. _Oh, will we?_

I narrowed my eyes a fraction. "Possibly, if I deemed you worthy of my submission."

Sephiroth's gaze sharpened as well. "I would break you, force it from you."

"Then you have lost. For you will never have my _willing_ submission, and a slave that is forced is always a threat." I bulled on as he went to speak. "Yes, you could kill me, but I would have still defeated you, even in death."

He opened his mouth, then closed it. _Ha_, I thought smugly. Backpedaling a bit, I went on, a bit softer, my eyes demurely lowered, "But that is far from now, General. Let us not resort to empty threats," on _my_ part, at least. I folded my hand and choked down my indignance.

Sephiroth scowled; truly the man had that down to an art. When he spoke, I jumped, so unexpected was it. "You intrigue me, Jayden. And one has not done such in so long. A curiosity I must explore when time permits." I swallowed my tongue at _that_. "This meeting may prove fortunate, after all." One sharp eyebrow cocked skyward. "Especially should there be others with the same spirit on this benighted world. We shall see. Oh, yes. We shall."

I couldn't help it, it was reflexive. "Yes, my lord." And could have slapped myself at the smirk that creased the miscreant's mouth. "Perfect," he intoned. "Until next time, Jayden…" How he managed to turn around without slicing something off the wall, I'll never know, but he did so and disappeared into my closet, vanishing in the portal. A rough chuckle hung in the emptiness for a few heartbeats before fading into nothing.

I collapsed on my bed, knees weak. Oh, sweet Jesus above, _what_ had I gotten into? I would have flailed and thrown a crisis fit, but nothing seemed able to help much. God. What a nightmare. No, the nightmares were surely yet to come.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep that night.


End file.
